Monday 21 December 2009

"A Very Abaddon Christmas" Part 4: 'Twas the Night Before Giftfest

Hey all,

Right, we're not quite onto brandy and mince pies yet, so let's call this... the cheese course. Yeah, that's right. The cheese course.

Actually, it's pretty appropriate.

For the fourth instalment in that noted, ground-breaking guest-blogging event, A Very Abaddon Christmas, Mike Wild has given us a little ditty from Twilight of Kerberos.

"What's that?" I hear you cry. "Surely there's no Christmas on Twilight! It's, like, a fantasy world! David, what can you be saying?"

Think again, my good man. Think again.

’Twas the Night Before Giftfest

A Twilight of Kerberos: The Crucible of the Dragon God Story

By Mike Wild

’Twas the night before Giftfest, when through Kali’s pub
Not a worgle was stirring, nor Horse for his grub
Hooper’s stockings were slung by the fireplace, oh yeah
Where Slowhand caressed them, his body all bare

Dolorosa, meanwhile, was high up on the roof
There confronting a man and strange creatures on hoof
What’s that you say, fat boy, about goodwill and peace?
You go near that chimney I stabba you like theees!

Kali, through all this, lay betwattled in bed
While visions of Old Races whirled in her head
She hated the holidays, she thought they were crap
And the dwarves and elves called her, from the old map

Suddenly down in her belly there rumbled a groan
She sprang from her blankets and uttered a moan
Away to the window she flew with a “gack!”
Tore open the shutters and threw up her Thwack

Below in the courtyard a man dressed in red
Wiped away vomit from the top of his head
He sighed, all he’d wanted was to empty his sack
But after this, fark ‘em, he’d take it all back

Come the next morning not a present was seen
Once more it seemed the Laughing Lord hadn’t been
From pirates and Slowhand, Kali, Moon and the dragons
A Very Happy Giftfest from the Here There Be Flagons.

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